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What experts do not say about “how to get to orgasm”

What does no one say about how to reach orgasm?

How many women do you know how to reach orgasm? How many of them often reach orgasm? How many of them arrive by themselves? How many get to orgasm along with their partners? How many do not know if they had or did not have an orgasm? How do women who reach orgasm easily? We see many blogs and vlogs talking about the topic. In general, everyone addresses important issues about orgasm, but forgets something, which in most of our hearings with tantric therapy is the focus to help a woman get there. In this article we will try to answer the key questions about orgasm. female orgasm and in the final parts we will make clear what is this “cat leap”, which most experts pass by, but does not speak. Of course we could not stop talking about everything that is important about orgasm and about how to get there. That’s why this article is divided into the following topics:


  • Is the search for “how to get there” healthy?

  • Did I ever have an orgasm? 

  • What no expert says about how to get there ?

  • What are the main misconceptions when trying to reach orgasm?

  • Practical exercises that can help a lot.

Frequently women come to us with orgasmic needs, difficulties and doubts.

Is it important and really necessary to know how to reach orgasm?

We can say yes and no.

Yes, it is necessary for every woman to go deep in the discovery of herself, to explore all her potential, to know the individual mechanisms of pleasure, to go deep into her own sensoriality and live all that you deserve in your sexuality.

After all, God has given you a body full of senses and wonderful inner mechanisms that can lead us to divine experiences. It’s as if the paradise is in there waiting to be discovered. And I do not know anyone who does not want to know paradise.

Not that orgasm is not important. He is. No doubt. But like everything else in life, one should not look obsessively. 

Instead of trying to “get to orgasm” the idea here is to “let the orgasm come”.

And, as therapists, what we often notice in women who want to experience orgasm is that the more they feel at ease, relaxed and delivered, the easier, lighter and hotter the experience is. I would say that the simple desire to explore sensory and surrender to the experience is the best recipe to reach orgasmo.

Ok. But the main question is:

How do I get, relax, surrender, dissolve my inner barriers and let the orgasm come? Calm down we get there.

Because we must first understand what is orgasm to know if you have already arrived or not.

I know how the sensation of orgasm?

Many women confuse the phase of excitement, which is when the nipples stiffen, and there is an increase in the amount of blood in the pelvic region with the moment of orgasm. Just like the penis, at the moment of arousal the vagina receives a large blood supply. The tissues swell and everything grows. The large lips swell, the clitoris swells, the G spot swells, the lubrication becomes evident … some women feel the nipples stiffen and feel the pelvic region warm up. All of these are symptoms that are related to arousal and not to orgasm. The orgasmic sensation can vary greatly from person to person, but the most common symptoms are:


– Shivering and heat by the body

– Muscle spasms mainly in the abdomen, but which can spread throughout the body.

-A feeling of uncontrol, which may involve involuntary shouts and movements of the body.

Orgasm can be defined as a climax of pleasure, a high point, a moment of ecstasy and great energetic release. Such release can trigger emotional processes such as laughter, laughter, and crying. It is common for an emotional catharsis to occur during or shortly after an orgasm. But there is no need to scare yourself.

Often the body is in need of the release of trapped emotional contents and orgasm can help dissolve many of these blocked contents, which accumulate over time and we do not even notice.

What are the main misconceptions when trying to reach orgasm ?

OK. Now that it’s clear what the most common symptoms are and you already know if you’ve had it or not, it’s time to talk about what usually gets in the way and does not let women get there. Are not some of these things happening to you?

1. Do not know yourself or masturbate.

Knowledge and exploration of the vagina itself is essential in this process. Every woman has her way to orgasm. This path can later turn into two, three, four, many paths. But if you have not yet discovered the first path, masturbation and experimentation alone are essential. Knowing, touching and stimulating your own clitoris, the erogenous areas of the vagina like the inner region of the small lips, the area where your G spot is. All this does well and brings an essential self-knowledge to its orgasmic development. Having a moment of pleasure in oneself can cure many issues related to sexuality.


2. Treating pleasure as sin

Many women have distanced themselves from their own vagina and sexuality for a moral issue. The guilt in feeling pleasure distances many women from their own sexuality and from their own genitals. But you can say, “This does not happen to me.” But often this guilt is deep down and influences us unconsciously without us not even realizing and boycotting our sexuality. The fact is that God has placed an organ in the female body that serves solely and exclusively for pleasure, the clitoris. Orgasm is one of the ways we connect with our purest nature, our divinity. It is a time when there is no ego, where you just “ARE” and is in full harmony with the source of life. Orgasm is one way to experience God. Therefore, it should not be associated with guilt or sin.


3. Do not show the partner “how to do it”

The failure of communication is one of the great causes of frustration and disagreement in love relationships. It is necessary for a woman to know her own body and her own orgasmic process so that she can show her partner the way to get there. Being candid about sexuality is very important and can prevent many future problems. he likes and dislikes it is essential for the couple to evolve and have healthier and more pleasurable relationships. Many women spend their lives having painful sexual intercourse simply because they can not be frank with their partners about what they feel and how they would like their relationships to be.


4. Faking the orgasm

Because they do not want to hurt their partners, many women feign orgasm. And this is more common than you can imagine. Many report that everything is fine and that they do not mind pretending. But this in the long run creates problems that can become difficult to solve. Over time, the relationship gets colder and colder and man does not realize that you are not enjoying yourself. And you go, little by little, swallowing frogs and “killing” your sexuality. It is necessary to bring light to sexuality and find a way to talk about these issues with more openness. In these cases learning tantric massage techniques can bring more confidence and be a bridge to a more open discussion about sexuality in the relationship. Another solution is to seek help from a professional therapy specialist for couples.


5. Worrying too much or being afraid of reaching orgasm

As I said earlier. Charging and obsessive pursuit can bring much disappointment and breach of expectations. It takes relaxation and learning to live the moment in a fluid way. In addition, often the fear of getting out of control can block experiences. And this is where there is something little explored by experts, but that is the key to dealing with all the fear, blockages and difficulty of delivery in the hour H .This key is BREATHING! As Tantric therapists, we have already witnessed many processes where the turning point was breathing. Focus on breathing can bring you into the present moment. It can take your mind off the stories and help you feel the moment with relaxation and fullness. And in the specific case of orgasm a breath made by breathing through the nose and exhaling through the mouth and releasing a slight sigh when letting the air out can make a big difference.

Inhale through the nose and exhale through the mouth releasing a “aaaaaaaaaahhhhh”. Try to breathe more fluidly in without pauses. Exhale while you exhale. Try this exercise and then tell us in the comments if it has any effect.

Practical techniques to facilitate orgasm in relationships

Here in Tantra Yoga LAB we offer several very useful contents for those who are seeking to improve their sexuality and have safer, mature and pleasurable. Tantric practices activate the entire endocrine system in order to prepare and facilitate the orgasmic process both in the body of the man and in the body of the woman. Through couple breathing techniques, meditation and tantric massage techniques a new sexuality can arise.


If you are in a relationship and would like to get started in tantric practices still for free, you can sign up for our free Tantra workshop for couples.

. If you are interested in developing yourself, connect better with yourself hormonal cycle and do a work of deep connection with your feminine energy know our course of Yoni Yoga.A course of Tantric pompoarismo with cristal gems.

And if you wanted to know our complete method, to learn varied meditation techniques in couple, tantric massage techniques for both men and women, check our Course of Sexuality and tantric massage. There you will find a very practical material composed by the main techniques used by the best tantric therapists in Brazil.

Extra exercise

Here is a video that has everything to do with the theme, can complete even more what we wrote throughout the text and brings a practical exercise cool:



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